Another painting attempt:
Okay… Recently someone offered a fair and fully reasonable critique on my blog recently, and I felt this constructive criticism deserved a thoughtful response. So, here’s the problem: I’m not really sure how to broach the subject without sounding really “sad-sack” or “whiney”. Also, I don’t want to come off as combative, because that is not my intention – Like I said, someone pointed out a “short-coming” of the blog, and I think I should address it.
It has been recently suggested that I am, perhaps a teensy-bit hard on myself – especially with painting. And my way of expressing my frustrations is through (for lack of a better word) “whining” on the blog. That’s fair. It was never my intention to be so constantly negative, and I will surely try to watch that in the future. Now, that being said, I hope you guys can understand where I’m coming from. See, this whole grad school thing is a really, really, gargantuan gamble for me, and I am absolutely terrified that it won’t pay off. So, every time I see a mistake, all I can think is, “That’s the one mistake that will keep me from getting hired.” And because the short-comings in my paintings are so glaring, I tend to freak out a little bit. There’s more to it than that, but that’s a lot larger subject of some much deeper-seated issues, but I hope it gives you some sort of idea of why I’m always so uptight. So, to wrap this up, all this negativity is really my thinly-veiled neurosis shining through. I’ll try to relax a little bit.
