Screaming My Lungs Out (With Nothing to Say)

Yeaaaaah… This should’ve been posted Friday (or Thursday night, depending on how you look at it), but I was just a little busy… Well, sorta. I was definitely busy on Friday, but Thursday I was, ahem, “busy”. See, about a week ago Amazon had all the Scott Pilgrim books for $7 a piece, so I ordered the last four that I didn’t have. They arrived in the mail on Thursday, and let’s just say that by the end of the day I had read all four of them. I think I may have a problem. Anyhow:

I like this painting okay, and I think it’s helped to pinpoint my problem with all my previous paintings. See, I don’t think that I’m necessarily a “bad” painter, but I do think that I might be a slow painter. We got two class sessions to work on this one (roughly 10 or more hours), so I felt like I could bring it a little closer to the level of detail I like. I also think I’m starting to understand how to control the medium and the colors a little better. Still needs work, but even I have to admit that it’s a definite improvement. Maybe there’s hope for me after all.

So, it’s guest strip time again for L’il Depressed Boy.com and, guess who drew one. Special thing about this strip is that, not only did I draw it, but I also WROTE it (Wow!). The strip was originally meant to be a 1 pager, but I wrote too much. It was gonna be condensed, but I ended up doing Shaun a favor and Shaun said I could do the second page. Unfortunately, it was more work than I had anticipated and I couldn’t finish by deadline (because I suck at life… and I had a lot of painting to catch up on). But, here are the finished pencils (finally!):

Notice anything familiar about the strange hipster on the second page? Here’s the inks:

Just  in general, I like my pencilling much more than my inking. There’s a looseness and confidence in the pencil lines that the inks never seem to capture. Anyways, I’ll keep workin’ at it.

Someone once said that art is never finished… Only abandoned. Well, I don’t have to turn this piece in until Tuesday, but I’m not sure if it’s “finished”. I mean, it feels pretty complete, but I’m sure if I stared at it for long enough, I’d find something more to futz on it. Any suggestions? This is an audience participation piece, so please feel free to speak up.

And here’s the original photo reference as well:

Another painting attempt:

Okay… Recently someone offered a fair and fully reasonable critique on my blog recently, and I felt this constructive criticism deserved a thoughtful response. So, here’s the problem: I’m not really sure how to broach the subject without sounding really “sad-sack” or “whiney”. Also, I don’t want to come off as combative, because that is not my intention – Like I said, someone pointed out a “short-coming” of the blog, and I think I should address it.

It has been recently suggested that I am, perhaps a teensy-bit hard on myself – especially with painting. And my way of expressing my frustrations is through (for lack of a better word) “whining” on the blog. That’s fair. It was never my intention to be so constantly negative, and I will surely try to watch that in the future. Now, that being said, I hope you guys can understand where I’m coming from. See, this whole grad school thing is a really, really, gargantuan gamble for me, and I am absolutely terrified that it won’t pay off. So, every time I see a mistake, all I can think is, “That’s the one mistake that will keep me from getting hired.” And because the short-comings in my paintings are so glaring, I tend to freak out a little bit. There’s more to it than that, but that’s a lot larger subject of some much deeper-seated issues, but I hope it gives you some sort of idea of why I’m always so uptight. So, to wrap this up, all this negativity is really my thinly-veiled neurosis shining through. I’ll try to relax a little bit.

I know, I know… I’ve been really bad about updating these last few weeks. No excuse – My paintings aren’t turning out well and I’m really self-conscious about sharing them. Here’s one from last week… I guess it’s an improvement, but I still feel like I belong in a remedial painting class.

I’ve got a project due at the end of the week that I’m not really far on and isn’t really turning out well. I’ve actually turned to stress eating and, since I’ve been busy working on these lame paintings, I don’t have time to make it to jujitsu that often, so now I’m worried I’m gonna gain weight. Needless to say… I’m not having a fun summer.

Yup. Painting thing still needs more work.

First homework assignment for Situation and Environment. I don’t think it’s that bad (although this is a terrible picture of it), but I guess we’ll see what my teacher says tomorrow.

So, I guess I’m not as horrible at painting as I previously thought. It just takes me a LOOOONG time to make things look good. Here’s the original photo…

It’s times like these that I hate writing this blog. I know I didn’t update on Monday, and it’s not like I didn’t have “something” to put up. I just didn’t have something to put up that I was “proud” of in any sense. See, I’ve never been a very strong painter – actually, I’ve never felt really strong in any “color” medium. I always feel a bit overwhelmed and just haven’t figured out a solid system for coping. With those nupastel things I just sort of threw color at the paper and prayed something would come out of it – and the truth is that I never was really satisfied with the results. I’ve been trying the same approach with oil, but to no real luck. So, now I’m in a class where everyone else seems to have a handle on the medium, and here I am, the straggler at the rear of the pack, and, because the class is so short (10 weeks to the regular 15), I can’t seem to find my footing. Needless to say, it makes me a little depressed and self-conscious – which only exasperates all the other areas in my life that make me depressed and self-conscious. So, basically, I’ve been in a pretty bummed out mood lately.

Anyways, here’s something I did in that class a few days ago. It’s not particularly good and I’m not particularly happy with it, but whatever.

Yes, yes, I know I didn’t update last night. The truth is that I don’t really have any work I feel “proud” to show. So, here’s a glimpse of something I’ve been working on for the last month or so. It’s not quite finished, but I think it’s coming along nicely.